Fate / Arcana OOC

The verdict is still out on that one.
I miss my friend, but time has given me the ability to sort of let go.

We didn't part on poor terms, of that's what you're thinking. I just realized there wasn't a lot of free time in her world.

That's good, I guess. Distance gives rationality a chance to triumph over emotion.

I hear people say that, but how difficult is it really to just chat for a few minutes a day? Every day, without fail, I always call my parents to talk. Sometimes we have lengthier conversations, sometimes it's just enough time to say I love you and good night. But I think if something means enough to you, there's never "not enough time" for it.

You're talking to the wrong end of the conversation here. I'm not the one that didn't have the time.

I'm not accusing you. I'm having a discussion and telling my thoughts. I've been on the receiving end of "not enough time" before, and it hurt a lot. Took me the better part of four years to get through that one mess. I'm finally past it, which feels good, but I think life is progressively making me more cynical. Not necessarily jaded, but certainly cynical.

Understandable. I think even now, she still owns some part of me. That's probably to be expected though. The two of us talked for at least an hour a day for almost four years.

At least I did finally get the chance to give her a real hug while I was in Germany. As parting gifts go, it wasn't bad.

I think a lot of the time, the worst relationship circumstances are when the expectations turn out to be unequal. So when you view talking to someone every day for years as something meaningful, and they walk away like it was nothing much, that really stings. It's a lot easier when the relationship drifts naturally on both ends. I think the lesson I finally learned is that trying to cling to something that's clearly over is only going to prolong the pain. Better to just let it go and put your best face forward.

That's pretty much what I've done. The only contact I've kept up since August or September has been to say Merry Christmas or happy new year. The kind of stuff an old friend would do.

To be honest, I don't regret it though. I was working through some heavy stuff during the first year we talked, and having someone who would just listen without judgement probably helped a lot more than I know.

No, I don't think regretting it is the right thing. You have to appreciate the good with the bad. I think that's a healthier way to heal than throwing out the baby with the bath water. You know, my obvious, instinctual reaction to Jorg up and leaving was to get mega pissed. But I don't want to be that kind of person anymore, and I'd like to remember all the good times past.

I can respect that, although I can't say that I was angry when I realized that Alina and I were drifting apart. It was more like I'd always known it would end in one of two ways, and this was just the disappointing outcome.

Well, everyone responds differently. I'm a very loyal person and set high expectations for others. So when they don't meet them, I get mad and tongue-lash them. I'm a very strong person in good and bad ways. So I never get weepy or sad over people cause I'm too good for them. I'm the opposite of my sister, who will cry for ages over people not worth the effort.

I've always been more of a "go with the flow" kinda guy. Acceptance of situations usually comes to me fairly quickly, but that doesn't mean it doesn't slowly kill me inside for a while before I internally bounce back.

It's funny, cause I tend to kick and scream in resistance to change, but once the change actually happens, I'm really adaptable and don't have lingering regrets. I just have to work on the first part, especially since the picture of change I conjur in my head is always worse than whatever happens.

I don't usually show any outward resistance to change. That's part of my persona. Over the years, I've learned to compartmentalize and move on. Sometimes life sucks and situations blow up in your face. If I broke down every time that happened, I'd never drag myself out of bed in the morning.

So, for me, it's easier to just accept the facts and deal with them as I have time to.

That's good, although that can blow up in your face in its own way. Bottling up too much is pretty toxic.

I posted btw. :0

Hence the "heavy stuff" that I mentioned earlier. In any case, I've tired to move on. Only time will tell whether or not that's a good thing.

I saw. ^^

Just waiting for a post from Archer to move on with the morning.

Speaking of, Archer post!

Hope it's ic enough, just give me a shout if it's not. Just working on posts for the other two now!

Edit, Henry added!

Looks good to me.
I'll post tonight after dinner.

Awesome : D

Your take on Archer is nice. He's very sweet and genuine.

Lancer will hate him. XD

Why? :/

well, maybe "hate" is a strong word here. : P
but she'll definitely dress him down a few times for his naive nature.

How is he naïve? :/

he trusts too easily in her book.
but then, so does her Master. XD

posted.

Well, perhaps. I'll be interested to see what made Lancer so uptight.