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 Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat

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Prisma*Illya
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:00 pm

Well, there are other lines of work to pay bills lol. Her degree is in psychology, so she could have pursued other things.

Do you think more scenes of Ciel would be helpful? Considering she's one of the most central characters to the series, I want her to stand out here.

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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:02 pm

she's central? she felt like a side character to me
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:09 pm

Well, as the first book is almost all from Aiden's perspective, she's kind of an enigma in the beginning. But in book 2, she's with Aiden and Jessie all the time, so you get a lot more of her. And her backstory and motivations come to light.The focal relationship of book 2 is Ciel and Aiden. Of course, then you throw the grenade that is Gavin into the mix...

I mean, she kicks off the entire plot, so she has to be pretty integral.

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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:18 pm

well, in the first book Ciel feels like she's just there for reasons
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:21 pm

For what reasons? Plot reasons or her own character reasons?

She's not supposed to be fully explored till book 2, but I do want to make sure to give the impression that she's a crucial part of all this.

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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:25 pm

idk, some reasons
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:33 pm

Well, the scene I wrote should be good then, since it gives an peak into her reasons without divulging specifics. Should at least make it seem like she has a concrete goal.

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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:36 pm

hmmmmm

One of my old stories is being rewritten in my mind :0
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:38 pm

I'll send it to you when it's finished.

Which one? :0

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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:48 pm

hmmm, remember this one story about a guy that couldn't die? I remember posting a scene where he was all butchered and was still walking and fighting.
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:50 pm

Yeah, I remember. This mean you're going to write it all up?

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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:55 pm

? I'm too lazy to write and there's the language problem. I live in portugal, so if I wanted to release a book it would be in portuguese. But I hate portuguese and think that it's a horrible language
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 1:15 pm

You could write it in English and just have an editor fix any issues. Even native English writers usually use editors.

Either that or you can do it in Portuguese and get a proper translator.

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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 1:19 pm

wat?

how did you understand the opposite of what I said?
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 1:37 pm

Well, I just give you so much credit that I assumed it would be an international release.

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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 2:13 pm

lol
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 2:46 pm

I do think you're very talented though. I like reading your work.

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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 3:27 pm

huuuuuuuh. Well, i'm....huuuh...ok
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 3:38 pm

What? :0

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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 3:44 pm

nothing, anyway want to hear the idea?
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 3:46 pm

Sure. ^^

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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 4:57 pm

So the idea has some similarities but it is vastly different.

So the story would go around this idea. There is a hidden facility that was constructed for the sole purpose of constructing super soldiers to then sell them to countries for high prices. The story resolves around 3 main characters, 3 test subjects that are almost at the final reach to become Super Soldiers.

These 3 characters, are young adults who were found in a wreckage of war as children and taken in for the sake of the project. Because of this they have been friends since before and after being taken in.

I still don't have names, so lets go buy titles.

First there's the woman. She's the voice of reason of the group and is the most dedicated to her two friends. For her, protecting her friends' humanity is more important than anything else, as such she as purposively put herself through hellish experiments to protect what little they had. This in turn caused her to become the head scientist's favorite as much of his project was put into her. She's mature and resolute. She was put large batteries inside her and her arms were removed to be replaced with robotic arms, this allows her to generate high levels of electricity and wield it as a weapon. But she can't do it for long else she burns her body.

Second there's the first man. He's the heart of the group, the one who's wild and unyielding, but compassionate. He cares more about escaping with his friends out of the facility and into the outside world. He actively refuses to enter the experiments.....and that's about it for him. Yes, he's extremely underdeveloped even though he's probably the most important one, at least in terms of starting the conflict of the story.

Third there's the second man. He's the brain of the group, rational and logical, he's probably the most ruthless of the three. But he still deeply cares about his friends, but simply looks at it through another perspective. Much like the Woman, he actively participates in various tests and experiments, although in his case it's not to prevent the other two from going through it, but rather because he believes it to be his duty since he was "saved" by the Main Scientist. He's the second best of the three in the eyes of the scientists. In his case his entire skeleton has been replaced with a metal one and his heart removed and changed with an artificial one, he's also been given considerable amounts of drugs that virtually made him act like a juggernaut.


The story would resolve around these 3 friends having conflicts with their situation. The first man wants to escape and actively tries to gain the favor of the other two to help him out. But both always refuse because they know it's virtually impossible and that they are already too dependent on the facility to do that(both having mechanical parts that need to be maintained.

However one day the woman hears a conversation about the elimination of the first man, the reason being that he's a failure and worthless for the project. This causes her to join the first man's idea of escape, she willingly sacrifices all that she's been through just to save his life. But the second man refuses to help them because it's not a favorable thing to do and explains his situation with his artificial heart. From his perspective, if they were to escape they would have 0 means of survival since they have no idea how the outside world currently functions, Woman would eventually lose the ability to use her arms while he would die since his heart would eventually stop working, so only the first man would be on a good spot.

This doesn't persuade the first man, now knowing about the situation at hand, instead of trying to escape he thinks of overtaking the facility, the woman torn between both sides, chooses the first man's side, since she believes that just standing and waiting isn't the answer.

This all leads to a major revolt and confrontation, Woman and First man split up, the Woman faces the Second man, while the First man faces the Head Scientist.

Overall the fight between Woman and Second man would be more on the emotions and ideals than just a straight fight. Woman wants to beat sense into the Second man, while Second man wants to stop Woman without killing her. Both believe to be on the right side and ultimately Woman ends up pushing to hard and burning most of her organs, falling and leaving Second man to his despair.

First man vs Head Scientist was on the other hand a complete stomp.

Returning to the main area, Second male encounters the corpse of the First man. With both his friend gone, Second male takes in Woman's words and decides to fight the Scientist. It at this point that it is revealed that the Second male's brain has been tampered and left in a broken state where emotions are almost impossible to be created. Which is the reason behind all his actions being so far off what a normal human would do.

With all that said and done, Second male would do the impossible and kill the scientist while discovering that this Scientist had more than just science on his side but also magic(what? did you believe that throwing stuff inside someone would make them a super soldier?)

The story would end with this situation. First man is dead. Second man joins a secret organization
of "mercenaries". Woman is left on a comma
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:19 pm

I'd read that. Sold!

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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:27 pm

oh you *blush* you're just saying that to make me feel better
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PostSubject: Re: Chat Thread 19: In the Beginning Was the Chat   Wed Sep 16, 2015 6:18 pm

No, really. :P I like it.

Start writing!

I would watch this video, since it made me think of your idea. It's pretty long, but it's very gripping (in my opinion).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBAb-EeVTME

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