RPB Commemorative Awards Banquet
Hello, fellow RPB members! As you read in my announcement, it's time for our awards banquet.
Today, we celebrate all of you, for the uniqueness you bring to this forum. Sometimes it's welcomed, other times not so much.
But regardless, you are each stand-out members for one thing or another, and now we will reward you as such with these commemorative cacti trophies.
[Disclaimer: This is meant to be humorous, so don't get your panties in a not if you think you're being insulted. All in good fun.]
1) We might as well get the elephant in the room out of the way. The first award for our rp community goes to someone who, oddly enough, doesn't rp.
There's always the type of people who like to stand outside of something and whisper criticisms and snarky insults to those on the inside, and our little site is no exception. Like a pesky, cynical fly, buzzing just out of reach of our swatter, our winner would rather expend his energy on picking apart things, rather than contributing to him. And oddly enough, it wouldn't quite be the same without that.
The Capricious Critic Award for Most Annoying (Non)Rper goes to....
Madarrahime! Congratulations. Get up here, you little tease. And stand still long enough for me to swat you while you claim your prize.
2) Love or lust. Whatever you preference, people like drama, and human interactions are the best source. For some people, it's the delicious whipped cream on top of a delicious chocolate cake. For others, it's a packet of crack that they NEED RIGHT NOW to get through the day. Some people might sympathize, and some people might be concerned. But whatever the case, we hope our winner can find his fix quickly before he goes into withdrawal.
The Peanut Butter and Fluff Award for Most Fluff-Addicted Rper goes to....
Payne! Congratulations. For your acceptance speech, I insist you ready one of your smutty PMs you write for that additional buzz. Here's your award.
3) It can be hard to be the baby of the group - whether you're the youngest member or not. Sometimes people underestimate you and degrade you, and other times they just want to pet you and stroke your adorable wittle head. This award goes out for the latter category.
The Mewling Baby Panda Award for Most Loveable Rper goes to....
Nexius! Congratulations. Your innocence and big dewy eyes melt our hearts every time. Have a cactus.
4) Next, we come to the other end of the spectrum. We've all seen people get worked up in rps, and for good reason. Sometimes GMs make mistakes, sometimes rpers make mistakes, and sometimes it's just a big cluster of misunderstandings and idiocy. But there's one rper in particular whose aggressive nature makes him go for blood whenever he sees an opening, and this is for him.
The Award for Most Aggressive Rper goes to...
Jorg! Congratulations. You have all the soothing presence of a forest fire. Have a cactus.
5) As for as rpers go, overly aggressive ones can be problematic, but you can at least appreciate their passion and dedication. Then there are those who can't be arsed to string three keys together for a post. Oddly enough, they manage to type up some pretty contrived excuses, but hey.
There is one louse who stands out above the rest though, and we dedicate this to him.
The Beached Whale Award for Laziest Rper goes to...
Spirit! Congratulations. You make me want to put a drill to your head. Have a cactus.
6) So we have lazy, unreliable slackers who won't bother to get up posts. Been there, done that. Then you have people who are just too active to stand still. If they weren't so valuable, you probably wouldn't bother with them, but life likes to hand you these kind of unsolvable puzzles. So what do you do? Keep them around in the vain hopes that they somehow land for a minute to hit the keyboard before ascending a mountain, and in the meantime do their posts for them. To our one stand-out rper in this regard, we acknowledge you.
The Ghostwriter Award for Most Absentee Rper goes to...
Noin! Congratulations. Where have you been? Or should I say, where haven't you been? If you want to make an acceptance speech, you'd better get Payne to do it.
Now have a cactus.
7) Continuing our stroll down the lane of people who you just can't seem to get a hold of, we now move into the area of people who wave their handkerchiefs and set sail to the vast unknown, leaving our hearts crushed and broken, wondering if they will ever grace our shores again... the heartless bastards. >:0
To one rper, whose sunny disposition and enthusiasm were well appreciated, we think of in particular.
The Runaway Puppy Award for Most Missed Rper goes to...
Dannytheman! Congratulations. Hopefully you'll show up long enough to read this before abandoning us again. Take this cactus and our hopes, while you're at it.
8) It's not fair to just honor rpers, so we have to get the GMs involved here too. In a way, this category is not so different from the last. In both cases, our nominees are heartless, abandoning jerks who leave us wistfully staring out the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of them. But while the former category is decent enough to give us some expectations on what their departure entails, this type malevolently plays with your emotions, popping in and out just frequently enough to get your hopes up before dashing them again, feasting on your tears and broken expectations. And it's really no contest for this award.
The Abandoning Father Award for Most Undisciplined GM goes to...
Leiv! Congratulations. You should know by now that "computer problems" is only a valid excuse for so long. Now take your cactus.
9) Continuing our honoring of GMs, we now look to a more positive light. It's a difficult task, but there are GMs who take their work to heart, weaving intricate plots and memorable characters, spending their precious time on the thankless task of work together each detail and involving the host of characters involved. And once more, it's really no contest for this award, reserved for someone who has managed to stand heads above the rest with so many completed and memorable rps.
The Undying Glory Award for Most Exceptional GM goes to...
Prisma*Illya! Thank you, thank you! Your adoration is the best prize of all. I'm still taking this cactus though.
10) And finally, we look to honor the most exceptional writer among us. GMs may have the most grueling task and are responsible for the overall success of an rp, but it's the members who pump life into it. Both dedication and skill are important, and one particular member has both. His words weave a gripping post of detail, passion, and substance. Able to mold even the most unlikely of characters like a lump of unshaped clay into a heart-wrenching character whose struggles and inner demons bring tears to even the most stoic of us, he above all others deserved this award.
The Winning Wordsmith Award for Most Talented Rper goes to...
Gedomaru! Congratulations! Stop being so good. You're always showing the rest of us up. Now have a cactus
And that's it everyone! Congratulations to our winners, and a big round of applause to all our members! Thanks for joining us for our commemorative awards banquet, and we look forward to seeing more from you on RPB!
Fri Sep 19, 2014 12:18 pm
